Sometimes life just ups and punches you right in the gut.
And then as your body automatically jerks forward, with an oomph that lets much-needed air out of your lungs and you struggle to get a breath, life comes down hard on the back of your head and this time, you fall forward all the way to the ground. You take more than a few seconds to raise your shoulders, wincing as you push down on your scraped palms, and as you painfully raise your head, life slaps you across the face a few times, hard and measured, as if to say, alright then. There you go.
Or maybe that’s just how I feel when really-bad-stuff-happens and it was previously unimaginable that it could happen.
When the unimaginable happens, everything seems to vibrate at a higher frequency. Your energy changes, your brain switches gears, so to speak.
This event, this happening, has suddenly exploded and it touches everyone you love and makes you feel the fear that you have always known was there all along. But you can’t live in constant fear, you told yourself. And yet, once something terrible and real actually happens, once there are enough events that can show you the rough parts of living, you never look at the world the same again.
Now it can be imagined, it can be discussed, because it’s real. All too real. And nothing will be the same. Ever. Not for any of the people involved.
This is the stuff that can make you stronger, or break you down. If it happens enough times in your life, and let’s say, it started happening as a child, and kept happening, it may have broken you.
Does that mean you can never heal? Of course not. As adults we can make our own choices, but the healing will be difficult and you will have scars.
So how do we cope? How do we heal?
I will tell you what helps me and maybe it will help you too. We all have this shitty stuff happen in life. Unique to each of us, the same for all of us.
For me, I need quiet. I need to stop the constant onslaught of information, conversation, analysis, etc. Sometimes, all I need is to sit and rest in the relief that only quiet can bring. It can be difficult to quiet my thoughts and stop the obsessing. This is when meditation, soft music, walking or yoga can help. It’s a centering that helps me reassure myself that everything will be okay. This could work for you, too.
I have to have some sort of support. If you have family and friends, let them help you and support you. And if you don’t, you can find a group anywhere on every topic for support. Use support. You do not have to carry pain all by yourself. The load can be lighter when other people carry some of it for you. I know this helps me.
Sleep is a priority during times of extreme stress. I have to have sleep and I encourage anyone dealing with stress to make it a priority. Take an honest look at your sleep habits and make changes as necessary. I am talking a survival skill here. You have to have sleep to cope with life’s traumas. Use medication for brief periods if necessary, but get sleep.
Believe it or not, you will feel joy and happiness again.
There are many other survival tips I will share in future posts, but start with these three.
Life may knock you down, but it doesn’t have to keep you down. Sending you many, many good thoughts!
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