“Earth’s crammed with heaven.”  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

We hear about gratitude and appreciation, but it’s so difficult to remember to say thank you when things go wrong or times get tough.

This is the time we really need to remember that it is never all bad.

Beyond the Stress Strategy:

The next time you hear bad news or have something inconvenient happen stop, take a calming deep breath, and say “thank you, I’m alive.” (Even if you don’t feel it right then.)

Your life experiences are like little puzzle pieces that make up the whole of you.  Each piece is important but it is not you.

Let go of the past.  When you find yourself reliving something that you regret or wish you had done differently, say to yourself “I forgive me.”  Say it as often as necessary until one day you actually do.  This is a healing therapy that works.  And I know this from experience.

16 Fat Facts

by Laura Crooks

BMI, body mass index, is basically a ratio of your height to weight. It is a rough gauge of how fat or thin you are. You can check you BMI here: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

According to our government people with a BMI between 18.5 and 24.9 are of normal weight, those with a BMI between 25 – 29.5 are overweight, those with a BMI over 30 are considered obese, and someone morbidly obesity has a BMI over 40. A 5’5” person weighing 150 pounds is considered overweight, as is a 5’11” person weighing 180 pounds.

Please remember you can be thin and out of shape, and you can be a “skinny fat” person. Some people have thin silhouettes (and a normal BMI) but have little muscle mass, a greater percentage of fat, and feel squishy. Tall people generally fare better with this tool than short people and muscular people are often rated as being overweight. This tool can not measure your personal amount of body fat versus lean muscle.

1. 2/3 Americans are overweight or obese.

2. Americans are more afraid of shark and snake bites than diabetes. (Diabetes contributes to > 230,000 deaths/year and shark/snake bites contribute to 5-10 deaths per year.)

3. Obesity can cut your life short by up to 20 years.

4. Obese people have higher rates of heart disease, diabetes, elevated triglycerides, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and insulin resistance.

5. Obesity is a preventable cause of some forms of cancer.

6. Fat produces both estrogen and inflammatory factors.

7. Fat people have more aches and pains that normal weight people and are more likely to have arthritis. The extra weight as well as inflammation contribute to arthritis.

8. Obese people are significantly more likely to develop dementia.

9. Obesity and depression are linked.

10. Overweight women are more likely to have urinary incontinence.

11. Being overweight triples your risk of renal failure and increases your risk of gallbladder disease.

12. Obese women have higher rates of miscarriages, pregnancy complications, and infertility.

13. Healthcare facilities do not always have adequate supplies for obese people: wheelchairs, gowns, blood pressure cuffs, beds, MRI machines.

14. Discrimination exists. Fat people can be perceived as: lazy, unpleasant, unhygienic, less qualified job applicants.

15. Being overweight increases your risk of asthma. And glucocorticoids are often less effective in overweight people.

16. The risk of sleep apnea increases with being overweight.

Obesity is a growing problem (pun intended) in the US. But, losing as little as 7% of your body weight can go a long way to decreasing your risk for many conditions. The simple solution is to modify how, what and why you eat as well as start moving more. The tricky part is that this is not easy; it requires hard work to change established habits. What changes are you willing to make?
If you would like to know more about Laura and her coaching programs, please visit her website: www.youbloomwellness.com

We are starting out with beautiful weather here in Pennsylvania and I am loving my walks.

Some exciting things have been happening and I would love to share these with you.

I have been a guest on a few radio shows lately which is always a lot of fun. I have met some really wonderful people!

I want to tell you about this particular interview I had on May 28th, because I had quite a surprise.

Friday, I was interviewed by Dan Mulhern, the First Gentleman of Michigan.
I met him through Twitter last Fall and when I saw he was from Michigan, I wrote to him asking him what he did there.

He answered very  politely and told me he did fund raising, and volunteer work, and oh yeah, he was married to the governor! (OK, so I didn’t recognize the name!) Her name is Jennifer Granholm.

Anyway, this past week, the producer of his radio show called to ask me if I would be available for Dan to interview me on running a successful family life.

Of course I said yes, and they called me on Friday afternoon. As he was going into his introduction, lo and behold, one of the other guests was….drum roll….Michelle Obama!

Eeeks! How cool is that?

It was a fun interview, and I am listening to the entire thing right now as I write this.

If you would like to listen, my 7 or 8 minute interview is the first one. I am including the link so you can hear all the wonderful guests, including my new best friend, Michelle. (HeeHee)

Podcast : The Work of Home

Click here to visit Dan Mulhern’s website.  (Scroll down just a bit to the center of the page)

Another fun interview I did recently was with Rich Hallstrom and Tim Humphrey from Motivation with a Purpose Radio. a weekly radio show on Alternative Talk  KKNW 1150am in Seattle.

The interview they did with me was about the Impact of Humor. They wanted to know how to use humor to reduce stress.

You can listen on my Radio Appearances page.

They were great!

So that’s my report on radio and reducing stress!

* * UPDATE* * : You can listen in or download the podcast here (I’m the first guest):

Please remember that an object, is not, in and of itself, stressful. But objects can induce stress reactions.
Think about this: the more you own, the more you have to take care of. The more you have to take care of, the more time it takes. The more time you spend on “thing care,” the less time you have for yourself, your family and your friends. Enter….Stress.

Clutter can affect us in a variety of ways. We may feel anxious when we enter a room with too many objects and not understand why. We may have objects that annoy us or bring back unpleasant memories. You may not even know what you own anymore, and shouldn’t we treasure what we own?

A couple weeks ago, my sister Cindy stayed with us for the weekend. While here, she emptied my closet, forced me to choose what to keep and what to get rid of, then arranged everything into categories in my closet. (No, she doesn’t hire out for this.)

We took huge bags to St. Vincent de Paul, some clothes and accessories to a consignment shop, and threw things out.

The pleasure I get looking through my closet is phenomenal. I am wearing items I forgot I owned, I feel great every time I look in my closet, and a bunch of other people are benefiting from the clothes I didn’t need anymore!

I have actually been doing this little by little, throughout my house. That’s the way I recommend you start. Do one kitchen cupboard at a time. Do one drawer at a time. It is overwhelming to contemplate huge jobs–this is why I hadn’t done my own closet myself. (Thanks again, Cindy!)

Have a friend, family member, or professional organizer help you, and I promise you, you will reduce your stress!
Bonus: Other people may need what you don’t use anymore. Win, win.

Coach Tip: You can control many stress reducers in your life. If money is an issue, this is great time of year to plan a garage sale!

Please write to me with comments and questions about stressors. I love to hear from you!

I would like you to think about a few things as you read the following article:

* You make choices everyday, every minute of every single day.
* What are you choosing? What small annoyances have you been choosing to tolerate?
* What have you convinced yourself? Have you told yourself that you cannot change things? Have you “accepted” that you are stuck, and that there is no getting out/changing events/leaving?

If you can keep these choices in mind as you read my descriptions and strategies, you may find that you start looking at things a different way.

And that can make all the difference in the world.

I would like to address the first of three areas today and give you some ideas for dealing with this in a healthy, life-enhancing manner.

Note: I am breaking this up into a three -part article and will continue in the next ezine.

The first step in making changes is to recognize the areas that you need to make them, and realize that it is your decision whether or not you will continue to deal with them.

The first area is People.

This is the area I get the most questions on, and the typical question goes something like this:
“I already do all the things you suggest. I take care of myself, I exercise, I try to manage my time and give myself breaks….but it is my boss, my co-worker, my husband, my children…..they come in and make me crazy, and throw off my schedule.” Very valid issue to address.

Here’s what you do:

1. Remove.
2. Breathe.
3. Limit.

You need to Remove yourself from the immediate situation if at all possible. Use your manners (!) and excuse yourself from the area. If dealing with a teenager, say you will be right back and leave the room. (They do not like to be walked away from–make sure you tell them you are coming back to continue the discussion.)

Negative co-workers–say that you have something else to do. (More information below on co-workers.)

In the case of the boss, go to step # 2. (Often, numbers 1 and 2 are interchangeable.) Also, in the case of the boss, try to step outside yourself for a moment. By this I mean try to think about the other person. Your boss has a job to do. Whether or not you agree with how he/she is doing it, that is really none of your business. When we take a few seconds to realize that their actions could be the result of stress they are under, we may be more patient. Don’t take everything personally. It is not always about you.

Breathe.You know that when you get stressed, one of the first things that happens is that your breathing begins to get shallower. You need to keep this in mind and immediately counteract the stressors’ impact by taking three deep breaths. I have told you this before, but it always bears repeating: DO NOT be fooled by the simplicity of this!

Slow, deep breathing revitalizes your brain, your cells–every part of your body. It is calming, and has the added benefit of giving you time to think before you speak. (This can prevent further stress–think about it!)

Remember, breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, and slowly breathe out through your mouth. Empty the air out completely, then repeat. (Three times is ideal.)

Limit. Here is where you need to get the most creative.

You need to start limiting your time with the people who activate your stress reactions.
If they are the people at work, really look at the time you spend interacting.

* Do you stop every morning to complain/gossip/compare notes with a co-worker, then end up feeling annoyed as you start your workday?
* Do you spend every lunch hour talking about work with other employees?
* Do you assume that you have to do everything for family members or it won’t get done?!
* Do you tell yourself that you have to put up with people in your family that suck the energy right out of you?

Stop. There are always choices.

You can stop gossiping and complaining about work. Turn things around–you have a job; do your best. You can choose to look at your work in a positive or negative way.

You can limit your time on the phone with family members. (Did you know that you do not have to answer your phone every time it rings?)

You can get creative in looking for help for elderly family members and other people that you may take care of.
There are always alternatives if you choose to look for them. (There is that word again—choose!)

You have trained people to expect certain behavior from you.
Is that really their fault?
Other people will show more respect for you, when you show more respect for yourself. I want you to repeat this last sentence out loud, changing it slightly:

“Other people will show more respect for me, when I show more respect for myself.”

Another interesting take on other people comes from one of my favorites,
Eknath Easwaran:

“I need the opportunity to deepen my patience.”

Couldn’t we all use more patience?

Free up your energy for fun, and healthy living. Stop wasting time worrying and stressing about the other people in your lives! Take care of you and CHOOSE less stress!

*** Extra Coaching Tips:

1. After finishing a phone conversation that was somewhat stress reducing, take a nice deep breath and brush off every part of your body with your hands. You will be signaling your brain to “get rid of the negative stuff.”
2. Do the silent scream. Excuse yourself, go somewhere private, and scream silently.
3. Move. Do not let the negative energy, the obsessive thinking build up. Move your body even with a few steps from side to side, and this can “move the energy” to a better place.

I will continue this article later, discussing stressors caused by our environment and events.

Do you ever try to sit still and do nothing?
Do you find it hard to do?
Do you get all antsy and weird and find yourself jumping up and doing something….anything?

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to rest periodically throughout the day, but when we are not used to it, there seems to be some freaking out when we try.
The reason I know this, is because I experience this, too.

I sit and meditate, or try to meditate, and I remember every single thing I have to do. I gently bring myself back to my breathing, and the next thing I know, I am planning the next trip I am taking or going over some tasks I want to get done.
But, you know what? It’s ok, because I keep trying and I do benefit from the effort.
I have slowed my breathing, I have rested my body, and I have restored some peace in my world.

I would like to share some suggestions that you may be able to use to find a little peace in your day and in your life.
Take some breaks.
Each minute, once it is spent, is gone. Time is precious and it is not renewable.
Make sure you are stopping to look around and smell the roses.

Oh, and Happy Spring by the way!

I know some of my personal clients have been feeling a little frustrated with the weather and such. Even those of you who haven’t experienced snow and cold may be getting a few winter blahs–I am here to help with some strategies…
So read on, and hang in there–Spring is coming!

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh.
“What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.
--A.A. Milne

If there is one thing Pooh knew about, it was comfort. And his idea about breakfast is a good one. Starting out the day with some good, healthy food in you and taking the time to enjoy it, is a wonderful, comforting thing to do for yourself.
If you are not hungry first thing in the morning, plan ahead to take a break after you have been up a couple of hours. Meet a friend for breakfast, or take oatmeal or yogurt and fruit to work with you, and take a breakfast break. Make sure to have some protein in the morning, and a big glass of water. The protein will keep you going longer and the break will help you get your day started in an organized way. Comforting.

Here are other soothing, comforting, and healthy things you can do for yourself:

* Baroque music boosts moods, according to the March issue of Body + Soul magazine. Composers would include Bach, Vivaldi, Scarlatti and Handel. Take a break from your regular music and background noise and try this for a change.
* And speaking of change, another mood booster is to seek novelty. How about some new foods? Take a look in the produce section of your grocery store and try one new thing this week. You may find something exciting.Explore a different area in the library or bookstore. Try some different movies.
* Laugh. A lot.
* In Yoga, “back bends are believed to stimulate your adrenal glands, revving you up,” says Sara Ivanhoe, Health magazine’s yoga columnist. Whether or not you include back bends in your day, take 5-10 minutes every morning to stretch and get in touch with your body. You ask your body to do a lot. Keeping yourself stretched out is a way of saying thank you.
* Make a gratitude list. It is easy to think about what is not going right, but a definite mood booster is to think about all the things that ARE working in your life. Take a few minutes to write these things down, and be grateful. Keep your list with you and try to read it throughout the day.
* Breathe. Before you walk out the door in the morning, before you walk into work, before you make phone calls, three deep breaths. Aaaahhhh….comfort.
* The urge for comfort foods is very real, and you can let yourself indulge if you keep an eye on portion size. Go ahead and have that mac and cheese, but make sure you notice what is truly one portion. Warm up some soup, or better yet, slow down and make some of your own. (Yes, you can take the time. Trust me!) Eat slowly and mindfully, putting down your fork or spoon between bites. Truly savor your food, whatever you choose to eat.
* Dark chocolate is an energy booster. The flavonoids in chocolate that laboratory studies demonstrate to have powerful antioxidants are called flavanols and procyanidins. These two compounds come from the flavonoid “family” that includes resveratrol, found in grape juice, and EGCG, found in green tea. When people consume these substances in chocolate and cocoa, the antioxidant status of their blood increases. A few other foods that have flavanols are red wine, broccoli, blueberries and onions.
* There are many hot chocolates available. If you are watching the calories, there are some low calorie versions out there for you, too. Now that’s a winter comfort!
* Walk. I know it may be cold but this can boost your energy and mood. Even if you feel tired when you start out, it will give you energy in the long run.
* Turn off the television. I know you can find something else to do. Get your brain thinking in a different direction. A positive, healthy direction.

Sometimes we need to go away.
Did you ever notice how hard it can be to change habits or develop new habits, when the same old, same old, is around?

Did you ever try to think about what you want in your life and really concentrate on changes you would like to make, and you keep getting interrupted?

“I can’t even finish a thought!” you find yourself saying in frustration.

If you know what I am talking about here, and you are nodding your head in agreement, then you need to go away.

A retreat can be for an hour, or it can be for a weekend.

If you have young children, it is very important to have retreats. That you love your children dearly is not the point. No one benefits from being together constantly.

You can arrange for babysitters and actually leave the house for a walk or a quiet cup of coffee somewhere. You can employ a mother’s helper to play with your children, while you retreat to your bedroom and do some stretches, or lie down to rest.

You will benefit from a walk in the evening, to think, and let your thoughts drift as you walk.

A retreat can be lunch by yourself with a book, instead of going out with everyone from work, yet again, to rehash office politics.

A retreat can be a movie by yourself, or a bookstore outing.

When we let our mind be refreshed with new images and thoughts, it starts to work with possibilities, and “what ifs.”

There are structured retreats and resorts that offer packages, if you can take the time. (If we try hard enough, and make it a priority, we can take the time.)

There are Hiking retreats, Yoga retreats, Spiritual Retreats. Search the internet and see what interests you.

Years ago, I did a Survival Weekend in the woods, and it was a great retreat. It was not restful, but I needed a change of scenery, and I was eager to learn new skills. That was the kind of retreat I needed at that time.
Different retreats for different times in our lives.

Do not consider yourself so indispensable that you cannot leave your life or situation for a couple days here and there.

Since my children have been very young, I take a weekend a year to go back up to Michigan to spend the time doing whatever I want. I shop with my sisters, laugh, read, visit friends, and eat when I want, whatever I want. I am not tied to anyone’s schedule but my own. This was not easy to do when the children were very young. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who stepped into my shoes and took over.
I came back refreshed and though the relief on his face was unmistakable when I walked back through the door, we both knew it was worth it.

My husband takes a golf outing every winter. This is not always easy for him to arrange. He has to make sure everything can continue without him at work, and we have to make sure we have all bases covered at home. But, the pleasure and the relaxation he derives from his retreat, gets him through the rest of our cold, Pittsburgh winters!

We both have other trips we take, and now that the children are older, it is easier for us to arrange to be away. We try to go on trips together when the opportunity arises, or when we can create the opportunity.

You may miss your children and your partner while you are away, but remember that you need distance sometimes to realize the importance of people and situations in your life.

Being away from the same old haunts and breaking up your routine, lets you look at life from a new perspective, outside yourself and your fatigue.

A couple days of sleeping in, and changing your schedule, and you start seeing your life and your daily routines differently. You think, “Hey, why do I put up with that? Why don’t I eat better? Why can’t I change this? Why wouldn’t this or that work…?”

It is helpful to keep some notes when you retreat.

Jotting down thoughts and feelings as you experience them instead of hoping you remember your brilliant thoughts on that hike, is a good way to bring the benefits home.

Thinking about your thoughts and feeling while you were away can help you make changes.

You may think, “How could I feel like that in my daily life?” and you come up with an idea for a breather during your work day.

You remember a great meal you had, and you think, “I could make that for myself on the weekend!”

Retreating can help you gain perspective, get new ideas, and relieve you of unrelenting work and pressure.

Try it. Go away.

“Adventure must start with running away from home.”
-William Bolitho

Did you make any new changes in your life?

Did you make resolutions? Did you keep them?

I would like you to take a few minutes to review your month.

Think about what you wanted to accomplish and
review how you did.

If you had some problems, experienced set backs, or are feeling worn out and tired, I would like you to think about something….

Maybe you chose the more difficult path.And maybe you did that because you truly wanted to make changes, and you wanted them FAST!

I think this is the mistake we often make. We want the quick fix, the immediate result, the change to come…painlessly.

It doesn’t work that way, but that isn’t all bad. When you take your time and build new habits, slowly and surely, those are the habits that will stay with you, and that’s how you can change your life.

Choose the path where you make changes gradually and build those changes into your life.

Think about this: If you made one healthy change a week, in one year, you will have made 52 changes.

52 Changes!!! Think about that.

And they don’t even have to be huge! Here are some examples….

1st week, drink a big glass of water every morning.
2nd week, a ten minute walk every day.
3rd week, go to bed 15 minutes earlier.
4th week, one piece of fruit, no matter what, every day.
5th week, add vegetables, each and every day.

Do you get the idea?

Gradually, the extra weight comes off, and stays off.

Little by little, you get used to drinking water and realize that you feel better.

Step by step, you start getting more sleep and get more done in the morning.

All of sudden you notice, you are looking forward to your ten minute walk, and you add 5 more minutes a day.

It starts with little changes and they lead to bigger and bigger changes, and then…Presto! You are where you want to be.

The days, the weeks, and the months will pass anyway.

Each day, do something good for yourself. Stop making it a big deal and start noticing the little things.

If you have been on the harder path, go back, and take the other path.
The one that will truly get you where you want to go.

I have something exciting coming up in February that will help you with this. Taking the right path for you, learning how to take care of yourself…I have many wonderful things to share with you.
Hint: Check out the FREE teleclasses.

Meanwhile, be good to yourself.

If you need to start over, start over.

But do not, I repeat, do not beat yourself up about this.

Gently take yourself by the hand, and start down the right path for you.
It’s not too late to change paths. Really.